Announcement of Life

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Getting My Ducks in a Row

Sometimes the blog thought comes right along with the photograph. Just like today. The image of getting ones ducks in a row helps merely by trying to line things up. 

Just like the oncologist canceling my chemotherapy for tomorrow because my red blood count is too low. Aha, my iron deficiency is producing my low red blood cell situation.

Doesn’t it just seem sensible that we take on one slice of pie at a time. The low red blood configuration allows, and encourages a very early bedtime and energy level. This presents the delay in the evening blog-update. It’s always someone else’s fault.

Now what will the doctor order with this chemical dilemma? I only know that Dr. had his nurse ask if I knew when I last had a transfusion. I did know, late August and receiving 2 pints of blood. Now, is ‘one of my ducks’ a pint of blood? ‘One’ a packet chemotherapy medication. Or ‘several weeks’ of iron supplementation. I think I’ll just worry about it all. To get ones Ducks in a Row takes real know-how and Greenwich timing.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

This might mean that I am back in the publishing business. I’m promising to return to the information mode of communication. For the past two weeks I’ve been hiding in my own mind again. The news about my cancer health is remarkable. So I shall remark. There is a cancer marker regarding the protein cell growth of cancer. My numbers of growth are dropping rapidly. The true term is remission. My oncologist has added iron to my treatment. I’ve been forbidden from iron for a year because of it’s ‘blood growth’ properties. I’m learning as fast as I am healing. I have so many amazing people with prayers and my health that I am certain about that truth.

Secondly, with laughter being the best medicine I did have a day of laughter last week. There was a day last week that could have brought rain. For Shelby and Janice that means fun. We headed out toward the dark clouds above Glendale.  On approaching our target we redirected the mission toward the Los Angeles Zoo.  My walker would have to be changed into a wheelchair and off we went.  The hills and trails of the zoo are mighty challenging. Our primary goal was to find the new elephant habitat.

We stopped by the Flamingo Pond where I had to be helped up to get a good view over the hedge. The Gorilla Camp is forever a treat as they have so much determination to remain unique. I especially enjoyed the female who enjoyed being wrapped in her blanket.

Out trek toward the elephants led us to a mighty ramp with a ‘must have’ speedy adventure downhill with dangerous speed. That was where the laughter fell into place. It was also where LIFE fell into place. I’m so pleased to be able to see and experience the pleasant aspect that my choice to live is completely probable. I need my children and they need me. So it shall be - we’ll all grow up through this together. Shelby is quite good for sudden adventures and ‘let’s go’.  She’ll probably never take off with me for Nepal like her sister Paige yet the “Let’s Go” is my favorite expression.

Believe in whatever is best for you and have the wisdom to know the difference. To my main and brave ‘health team’: Helen, Patti and Jackie I owe you my life because I was always jealous of your connection. Now I belong to you. And we belong in the zoo.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Grow Up!

You start out giving your hat, then you give your coat, then your shirt, then your skin and finally your soul. 

My worst problem is my worst problem. I am thin skinned. Now was I thin skinned by nature or is it the nature of my soul. Then I have a feline with sharp claws. Or the nightstand with raw wood corners. Sometimes pulling on a shirt with any strength of force.

I am looking down my arm at five fabric bandaids with Neosporin. The same white cat is still living and breathing. My chins are down to gauze bandages and soon to be flesh free. Mummies had a great plan against thin skin.  Yet the truth be known, the thin skin is all part of the past two months of reconstruction. Radiation, chemotherapy, major surgery, minor surgery, biopsy, radiation scans and pain. With oodles of pain medication.

My skin holds it all together. All of the chemicals and cell development or destruction impact the cells exposed to the outside world of shape and shiny objects. It is quite possible that healthy food, soft edges and smooth emotions will heal the feel. ‘Time’ would make sense that the skin would be a bit behind the rest of the body in recovery. 

I constructed a planter last Sunday to signify the health and growth of my healthy flourishing flesh. The shaded sunlight with mineral water will force the drive to thrive and develop the strength to grow.

Every problem must have a solution. Just find it and ‘grow with it.’

Friday, October 5, 2012


When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, 'Oh yes - I already have everything that I really need.' 

My mind just ran away. That’s why for years we’ve called it the “Runaway-Brain”. I simply refused to mind myself. The physical therapist Marsha yesterday, for our final visit, heard that I refused to get out of bed. I plainly looked at her with a smile and a nod. “I’m just too tired to get up and my primary doctor just told me that I’m well ahead in recovery.” So Marsha asked, “Can I at least take your blood pressure since I’m here and you won’t have to get out of bed?” I flung my right arm off in the direction of open space. She pumped the bulb. “Since you really have done remarkable work in you current recovery I’ll agree with you. You know your body and it needs rest more than a workout. I’ll just give you an outline of recovery and please call if you ever need more help.” 

My thoughts immediately went to ‘no’ - no more medical appointments. Wednesday was a doc-free-day and I called a doctor for an appointment that day for information and direction. And when Marsha asked me to journal about my recovery I said no. I promised her a blog-report so: In the past two weeks I used the walker 90%, wheelchair, 8% and free flight 2% of the time. I have an appointment with the surgeon who placed the steel rod along my femur and gave me a low grade pain recovery from a broken leg.

Why would I stoop to a low where I could tell a fair minded and accurate member of my recovery team that I wasn’t getting out of bed. I was raised differently, manners. This time I dropped to ‘want’ and ‘need’. I knew what was the best physical therapy. Food and rest. We eventually all came to the same reasoning. I was re-praised for my hard work and strength of motion. I planned to ask the surgeon if I’m preparing a 14,000 foot climb might I need further or different therapy. I hope that he will see the value in that thought.

Even though I didn’t get up for Marsha, I did have plans for Pizza Party Friday night with my son and his babies Zoe and Stella. The endless laughter, the pizza, the apple juice and fish crackers of color. Strawberries and whipped cream were wonderful. The movie with “Tinker Bell” was merely in the background. The ‘Best of Show’ went to the iPads. We are ver fortunate that we have 2 iPads, and lucky we have two little girls.

Stella with Zoe make everyone smile and tonight it was my turn. So they brought me back - listening to my brain. My brain has listened to my body. My body listens to the cells and each cell tells the story. My brain can also tell each cell what they might do in this process. My brain tells each cell to remove each weak cell and strengthen each developing cell. Healing and cleaning and deigning is my constant job. Everything I do every day is one of the items. But always do the big stuff before 2:30 PM. That’s “Body Speak”.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I Care

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
Edna St. Vincent Millay 

Yesterday I got a text message from a former client. The only reason he is ‘former’ is because I retired and became somewhat ill. When I told him of of condition I surprised him and myself. The cause of his surprise is somewhat obvious, mine was else clear to me in the moment. After a few moments of reflection I was aware of my emotional discomfort at not fully knowing why he wanted to talk to me.

I’d known him for nearly 20 years. My home overlooks his former stomping grounds. I remember when he announced his engagement. I’d just seen him 18 months ago when his life changed again. I felt like I wasn’t done with the story or the support. To know so much and care so much about the life and liberty of another puts them into your head and heart forever.

I don’t like this part of retirement. It’s like reading a good book and not being able to finish it. I still want to advise and confirm the actions and movements of those people that I’ve grown to love. I must find a way to finish the good book. I do miss my clients and I will be in touch.